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10
Nov

Microagressions

Hello friends! Did you notice I didn’t say ladies and gentleman? In the LGBTQ+ world, greeting a group of people with “Ladies & Gentlemen” can be considered a microagression. Yes, I know it’s what we were taught to say, but maybe it’s time to be more inclusive!

As a former middle school counselor, it always bothered me when I would hear teachers greet a class by using “boys & girls.” How about using the term, “Scholars” or even “First hour?” So, that is in a school setting, how about in a workplace?

This past week, I was honored to keynote the Iowa School Counselor Association Conference. Their theme was “All In.” What a fantastic group of school counselors learning how to go “All In” for their students! After the Keynote, I presented a workshop called “Equitable Treatment of ALL Iowa’s Students in Three Steps.” Let’s learn more about microagressions, shall we?

According to Wikipedia, Microaggressions have been defined as brief and common daily verbal, behavioral, and environmental communications, whether intentional or unintentional, that transmit hostile, derogatory, or negative messages to a target person because they belong to a stigmatized group. Did you know there are three types of Microagressions? I didn’t until writing this article.

Microaggressions seem to appear in three forms: microassault, microinsult, and microinvalidation. Almost all interracial encounters are prone to microaggressions; …. literature that represents various racial groups. Three forms of microaggressions can be identified: microassault, microinsult, and microinvalidation. My main goal is to not greet with gender specific labels like “Ladies & Gentleman” or “Boys & Girls”.

I have been called a man, or sir, more times than I can count. I used to let it go, but now, I will correct the person and remind them that girls can have short hair. After being labeled as male, the shock on their eyes when I turn around is always the same. Call it gender non-conforming, call it whatever you will, I call it being my true self! When you aren’t sure of a person’s preferred gender, just call them, “Friend.”

Thank you, friend for taking the time to read this article. Please feel free to share it. Maybe you’ll save someone’s life!

~Lisa from Wisconsin (Lady Rainbow)

27
Oct

Legislation & LGBTQ+

Let’s give it up for the letter, “L” this week! What a Lovely Letter that has Literally Labled Lisa (me) as a strong Lady! In case you didn’t know this, my mother named me after a soap opera…true story. Eileen Fulton, played the character Lisa Grimaldi on “As The World Turns.” Lisa was a strong female character, and that’s what my mother wanted me to be…BINGO! Looks just like me, right?

Eileen Fulton stars as Lisa Mitichell Grimaldi in AS THE WORLD TURNS. Photo cr: Danny Sanchez/CBS ©2010 CBS BROADCASTING INC. ALL RIGHS RESERVED

Lesbian is the first “L” in LGBTQ+. Raise your hand if you know where that term derives from. It’s ok, I can’t see your arms, but if you played along, you’re FUN and LIVELY. Let’s travel to the Northeastern Aegean Sea to find the third largest of the Greek Islands, Lesbos.

Lesbos within the North Aegean
Coordinates: 
39°10′N 26°20′E (trust me, it’s in there, it didn’t come through in the copy)

The word lesbian is derived from the name of the Greek island of Lesbos, home to the 6th-century BCE poet Sappho.[3] From various ancient writings, historians gathered that a group of young women were left in Sappho’s charge for their instruction or cultural edification.[6] Little of Sappho’s poetry survives, but her remaining poetry reflects the topics she wrote about: women’s daily lives, their relationships, and rituals. She focused on the beauty of women and proclaimed her love for girls.[7] Before the mid-19th century,[8] the word lesbian referred to any derivative or aspect of Lesbos, including a type of wine. Cheers to Wikipedia!

Sappho of Lesbos, depicted here in a 1904 painting by John William Godward, gave the term lesbian the connotation of erotic desire between women.

Pop culture lesson = Check! Geography Lesson = Check! History Lesson = Check! Now, let’s go into some modern political lessons. Let’s start with a Law called Title VII (that’s a 7 in fancy Roman numerals) of the Civil Rights Law of 1964. Stay with me, sometimes we have to know our history as to not repeat it…thanks for still reading along. You’re LOVELY!

Title VII of the Civil Rights Act of 1964 is a federal law that prohibits employers from discriminating against employees on the basis of sex, race, color, national origin and religion. It generally applies to employers with 15 or more employees, including federal, state and local governments. Title VII also applies to private and public colleges and universities, employment agencies, and labor organizations.

Both Title VII of the Civil Rights Act of 1964 and Title IX of the Education Amendments of 1972 provide protection against sex discrimination in the context of tenure. Title VII is a federal law that prohibits discrimination in employment on the basis of sex, as well as race, color, national origin and religion. Title IX is a federal law that prohibits sex discrimination in education, covering all staff and students in any educational institution or program that receives federal funds. https://www.aauw.org/what-we-do/legal-resources/know-your-rights-at-work/title-vii/

United States Map
  • (Dark Green) State law explicitly prohibits discrimination based on sexual orientation and gender identity (21 states, 2 territories + D.C.)
  • (Strike through Light Green) State explicitly interprets existing prohibition on sex discrimination to include sexual orientation and/or gender identity (see note) (2 states, 0 territories)
  • (Light Green) State law explicitly prohibits discrimination based on sexual orientation only (1 state, 0 territories)
  • (Tan) No explicit prohibitions for discrimination based on sexual orientation or gender identity in state law (26 states, 3 territories) this is the scary one
  • (Gavel) State is in a federal circuit with a ruling that explicitly interprets existing federal prohibition on sex discrimination (under Title VII) to include discrimination based on sexual orientation and/or gender identity.  (26 states, 3 territories)

What does this mean having Wisconsin in Light Green with a Gavel? According to the Wisconsin Department of Workforce Development, I can’t be discrminated in hiring or firing for being gay…Hooray! Here’s your human resource lesson for the day! If you are reading this and you don’t live in Wisconsin, please check out your state in the aformentioned information. Thanks & I hope you still like our cheese! https://dwd.wisconsin.gov/er/civil_rights/discrimination/sexual_orientation_protection.htm

Sexual Orientation Protection

Overview (WISCONSIN)

The Wisconsin Fair Employment Act prohibits employers, employment agencies, labor unions, licensing agencies, and other persons from discriminating against employees, job applicants, or licensing applicants because of their membership in specific protected categories, including sexual orientation.

The Wisconsin Fair Employment Law defines “sexual orientation” as having a preference for heterosexuality, homosexuality or bisexuality, having a history of such a preference or being identified with such a preference.

What actions are covered?

When an individual’s sexual orientation motivates the decision related to an employment action or licensing action, it becomes unlawful discrimination.

Specifically, the law prohibits discrimination in recruitment and hiring, job assignments, pay, leave or benefits, promotion, licensing or union membership, training, lay-off and firing, and other employment related actions.

How does the law define sexual orientation?

The Wisconsin Fair Employment Law defines “sexual orientation” as having a preference for heterosexuality, homosexuality or bisexuality, having a history of such a preference or being identified with such a preference.

Who is protected?

The Wisconsin Fair Employment Law applies to all private and public employers, regardless of the number of employees, except for federal government or tribal employers.

Can an employer refuse to hire a person because of their sexual orientation?

No, the law prohibits discrimination because of being identified as a relative, friend or significant other of someone with a particular sexual orientation.

May an employer ask about an applicant’s sexual orientation?

The Fair Employment Law prohibits any inquiry that implies or expresses any limitation because of a protected basis, including sexual orientation. Marital status discrimination is also prohibited under Wisconsin law and questions about marital status that are designed to detect a person’s sexual orientation may violate both marital status and sexual orientation provisions of the law.

Is an individual protected if an employer thinks the employee’s sexual orientation is different than it really is and acts on that perception?

Yes, the definition includes being identified with a preference for a particular sexual orientation. It is illegal for an employer to discriminate against someone based on perceived sexual orientation, even if the perception is wrong, for example, it would be a violation of the law if an employer assumes a man is homosexual because he is effeminate and discharges him because of that perception.

The Supreme Court heard three cases earlier this month that ask whether it is legal to fire workers because of their sexual orientation or gender identity (Title VII). That alone is enough to make those three of the most important employment discrimination cases in many years. But there are additional layers to these cases, layers that could imperil all workers regardless of whether or not they are LGBTQ. Only 22 states prohibit employment discrimination based on sexual orientation and only 21 prohibit discrimination based on gender identity. So if the Supreme Court rules in favor of the employers in ZardaBostock, and Harris Funeral Homes, millions of LGBTQ workers will be left without legal protections. Read on, my friend. https://www.vox.com/2019/10/2/20883827/supreme-court-lgbtq-discrimination-title-vii-civil-rights-gay-trans-queer

Let’s see, Lisa was named after a soap opera and might lose protections because she’s a lebian? Looks like a little scary scenario to me and for my other LGBTQ+ friends. Why do we need to legislate kindess and decency? That is a direct quote from my wife, Angela. Makes you think, doesn’t it?

My call to action this week is to think about how you would feel if you were fired for having brown eyes instead of blue? What if you lost your health benefits because you were left-handed? I was born this way, who says Little Lisa from Loganville should be legislated against? Please show your rainbows, please stop homophobic jokes, and please register to vote!

Mahalo,

Lisa from Wisconsin (Lady Rainbow)

20
Oct

Let’s Explore the Letter “K!” Oh, and Koenecke is my last name…it starts with “K.”😊

This week’s blog will not be a long one, but rather paying homage to Kevin Jennings who founded the Gay Lesbian Straight Education Network (GLSEN). Oh, and he was a school counselor! YEP, that’s right, a school counselor. He is just one of the famous LGBTQ+ activists we can learn about during this month, OH, that’s right, October is National LGBTQ History Month. Click here to learn more about our famous people! Kool!

https://lgbthistorymonth.com/

Kevin, as I like to call him, went to Harvard, no big deal, and in 1988 he started America’s first Gay-Straight Alliance (GSA) at the Concord Academy in Massachusetts. Today, there are thousands of GSAs in our schools. There are other names for GSAs including Gender Sexuality Alliance and many others. Read on to learn more about Kevin Jennings in these exerpts from the National Education Association’s, Cindy Long.

An Interview with Kevin Jennings, Founder of GLSEN: Safe Schools for Everyone (full article linked)

By Cindy Long, NEA Sr. Writer/Editor

When Kevin Jennings taught history in Rhode Island 10 years ago, he saw students verbally bullied and harassed to the breaking point. It reminded him of the torment of the endless name-calling he suffered when he was in school.

But when the bullying among his students began to turn physical, he decided he had to do something to make school a safer place for everyone. That’s when he founded the Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network (GLSEN).

GLSEN is a national education organization focused on ensuring safe schools for all students. Established nationally in 1995, GLSEN works with educators, students, and the community to help children learn to respect and accept all people, regardless of sexual orientation or gender identity and expression.

https://www.glsen.org/

I have used GLSEN for numerous resources and applaud the organization for celebrating our community, especially the youth. Here is my article on GLSEN, “Geez, That’s alot of “G’s.” The “S” in GLSEN stands for straight, without our straight allies, we would be facing an uphill battle every day! In 2015, I was a national semi-finalist for GLSEN’s National Educator of the Year…how’s that for a fun fact? Sorry I didn’t win…oh well.

Kevin Jennings was named Lambda Legal’s CEO in 2019…watch for more on that maybe next week as we explore the letter “L”. Lovely! See what I did there?

Short and sweet for the letter “K” this week. Your call to action? Please learn more about famous LGBTQ people during October. Let’s get some of them in our school curriculum, right?

https://lgbthistorymonth.com/

Please check out GLSEN’s website for free resources, to register your school for educational materials and to mark your calendars for these awareness weeks:

Oh, and if you’re still reading this, I was selected to do a TEDx talk in February. Kool, right? It is a bucket list of mine…Hooray! More to come on that…Happy LGBTQ History Month!

~Lisa from Wisconsin (Lady Rainbow)

13
Oct

Knational Coming OUT Day & KCNN Equality Debate

Lisa Koenecke

You might have noticed the title includes the letter “K.” Knope, Knot a typo, just letting you know that this week’s blog is meant to be brought to you by the letter “K,” but there were other more important messages to share.

October 11th every year is National Coming OUT Day. If you know my story, you’ll remember that my national coming out day was Thanksgiving of 2016 when my sister told me I was gay. Oh yeah, and “Please pass the carrots.” Can’t make that up, and of course I cried, and then ate my carrots.

National Coming OUT Day is a significant observance for the LGBTQ+ community as well as for our families, our allies, and our communities. On Oct. 11, 1987, half a million people participated in the March on Washington for Lesbian and Gay Rights (history linked). This year celebrates the 31st year of this auspicious…

View original post 689 more words

29
Sep

Jazz Jenning Just being Jazz

Today’s blog is brought to you by the letter “J” and the amazing Jazz Jennings. Jazz, in her own words from her Facebook page, “My name is Jazz and I’m transgender which means that I was assigned male at birth but was a girl right from the start. I expressed myself as a girl to my family by gravitating towards dolls, dresses, sparkles, and everything feminine. I didn’t just like girly objects, but I heavily insisted that I WAS a girl. All my family wanted was my happiness and they assured that by providing me unconditional love and support. As kindergarten approached, I would be heading to a new school and a fresh start was coming. We took this opportunity to begin my transition as a girl. I finally blossomed into my authentic self. Although this seems like it might’ve been the end of my story of me finally becoming a girl, it was only the beginning…”

I was lucky enough to meet Jazz in Portland, OR, at the Human Right Campaign’s “Time to Thrive” conference. She was coming back from Voodoo Donuts with her mom as we were heading out to get our own donuts. She was poised as gracious when I told her how proud I was of her. And of course I had to hug her! Why didn’t I get a picture with her? ARRGGG, I guess I thought these otters were cute…

Times are changing, but I still can’t imagine the strength, courage and support Jazz had and still has to this day. She knew she was born in the wrong body when she was 6 years old. When I was 6, I was playing with my tractors and my G.I. Joe, not appearing on television next to Chaz Bono. Read on to see how Jazz and Wisconsin crossed paths…

In 2015, the Wisconsin State Journal reported on the reading of I am Jazz in the small Wisconsin town of Mount Horeb, population 7,421:
MOUNT HOREB — In a turnout that stunned organizers, nearly 600 people filled the library here Wednesday night to hear a public reading of a children’s book about a transgender girl, with many in the crowd expressing strong support for a local family with a transgender child.

The library event — and another reading at the high school on Wednesday morning that drew about 200 — followed the cancellation last week of the reading of the book “I Am Jazz” at the Mount Horeb Primary Center, a public elementary school where a 6-year-old student had just transitioned from a boy to a girl.

School staff said they sought to read the book to the girl’s classmates to help them understand what was happening to a fellow student, and to help the girl feel safe and accepted.

The school canceled the reading after a conservative Florida-based group threatened legal action.

The centerpiece of the library program was the reading of “I Am Jazz” by its co-author Jessica Herthel, who flew in from California to support the family. As a straight parent, Herthel said she wrote her book with Jazz Jennings, a transgender girl who stars in a TLC reality show, in part because she felt there were not enough resources for parents like her to teach their children about acceptance.

She said she was overwhelmed by the community response in Mount Horeb.

“I think it’s a barometer of where we’re at as a society,” she said in an interview. “I think we’re more ready to hear about this issue from a child’s perspective, because we know a child isn’t making a political statement or rebelling against society. Kids don’t know not to tell the truth, and we’re getting more comfortable with that idea.”

“When people take the time to read the book, they realize that ‘I Am Jazz’ is about identity — who you are. Not sex — who you are attracted to. And the book’s message of ‘Be who you are, no matter what’ applies to all children,” Herthel said. Read the full article here.

Two Eleanor Roosevelt quotes come to mind when I think about Jazz’s journey: “Do one thing every day that scares you.” and “People grow through experience if they meet life honestly and courageously. This is how character is built.” Jazz knew who she was at a young age, she is a courageous trailblazer.

Want to learn more about this amazing person? You can read her children’s book I am Jazz, you could watch her on YouTube, or check out I am Jazz” on the TV channel TLC. In 2017, the Tonner Doll Company announced plans to produce the first transgender doll. Please notice we use the term transgender and not transgendered. A person is a noun, not a verb! Right now in 32 states there is no state law protecting transgender people from being fired for being who they are. Only 18 states (CA, CO, CT, DE, HI, IL, IA, MA, ME, MD — effective Oct. 2014, MN, NJ, NM, NV, OR, RI, VT and WA) and D.C. currently prohibit discrimination based on gender identity. Transgender FAQ from the Human Rights Campaign.

In our every day lives, you will hear more people identify as transgender or trans and becoming their true selves — comfortable in their skin and their bodies for the first time in their lives. You’ll have multiple opportunities to embrace and enhance your ally-ship, and I invite you to turn to me with any questions along the way. Ask questions, and share resources like this blog post with others. Please check out the book I am Jazz, or buy it and donate it to a school library. Thanks in advance!

~Lisa from Wisconsin (Lady Rainbow)



22
Sep

ALLY Week Sept. 23-27, 2019

Given the events scheduled for this week, we’re taking a break from our usual posts to bring you a special announcement. (I’ve always wanted to say that!) For those of you playing at home, perhaps you were expecting the letter “J” today? I promise you will have information on Jazz Jennings next week. Stay tuned…

This week’s contribution is brought to you by GLSEN (Gay Lesbian Straight Education Network). Learn how to be an Ally to LGBTQ Students, Trans and Gender non-conforming students, LGBTQ Students of Color & LGBTQ Students with Disabilities. I encourage you to register and learn more at GLSEN’s site. Did I mention it’s FREE? Get some cool swag and stickers to show your support as an Ally. Need a refresher on what an Ally is? Check out my blog “Ally or Ally.” from July 15th. Note that these tips can apply to any marginalized population, not just LGBTQ. We are also celebrating Latinx Heritage Month (September 15-October 15). Because Bi Awareness Day is on Monday, September 23, let’s kick off Ally Week by being in solidarity with Bi Net in bringing visibility to bisexual identities! (glsen.org/allyweek)

Ways to Be an Ally to:

On Your Own:
Intervene when you hear anti-LGBTQ language or remarks. Be conscious of your privilege and speak from your own experiences, rather than assuming the experiences of LGBTQ students and other marginalized folks. Sign up for GLSEN UP to take policy actions in support of LGBTQ students on the local, state, and national level.
In Your Student Club:
Create a student bill of rights describing the climate of respect and inclusion you’d like to see at your school. Create a bulletin board to display at school about what allies can do to support LGBTQ youth. Do an inventory of LGBTQ-inclusive resources at your school, like Safe Space stickers. Talk to your advisor about how to bring more resources to your school!
As an Educator:
Collect LGBTQ-inclusive books for your classroom/library. A shout out and HUGE Thanks to Mande Shecterle and Laura Frost for always being amazingly LGBTQ supportive Library Media Specialists and providing a rainbow of resources for staff and students. Need suggestions? Check out the American Library Association’s Rainbow Lists and Stonewall Awards. Learn about how to become an advisor to your school’s GSA or other LGBTQ student club. Learn about the experiences of LGBTQ students from GLSEN’s National School Climate Survey.

Here is the Student Guide resource for everything you need to know plus ideas for organizing your Ally Week!

Student Voices

I would love to hear how you used these resources to become and even better ALLY! Thanks for sharing this article with your friends.

~Lisa from Wisconsin (Lady Rainbow)

15
Sep

Intersectionality & Intersex

This blog goes out to Dr. Erin Mason in Georgia. When I was seeking advice on what topic I should present on next, Erin said, “Intersectionality.” A fairly new term to me in 2017. So, what is intersectionality? Let’s find out and as always…thanks for asking!

According to Merriam Webster: Intersectionality—the complex, cumulative manner in which the effects of different forms of discrimination combine, overlap, or intersect

Update: This word was added in April 2017.

That’s a lot to take in, so let’s break it down. While the concept has been around since the late 1980’s but intersectionality is a word that’s new to many of us. It’s used to refer to the way that the effects of different forms of discrimination (such as racism, sexism, and classism) can combine, overlap, and yes, intersect—especially in the experiences of marginalized people or groups.

The term was coined by legal scholar Kimberlé Crenshaw in a 1989 essay that asserts that “antidiscrimination law, feminist theory, and antiracist politics all fail to address the experiences of black women because of how they each focus on only a single factor.” Crenshaw writes that “[b]ecause the intersectional experience is greater than the sum of racism and sexism, any analysis that does not take intersectionality into account cannot sufficiently address the particular manner in which Black women are subordinated.”

Though originally applied only to the ways that sexism and racism combine and overlap, intersectionality has come to include other forms of discrimination as well, such as those based on class, sexuality, and ability.

So, there ya have it from the technical side of things. As a white able-bodied, priviledged lesbian, that would be my intersectionality. I will continue to educate myself more on supporting all populations including those with intersectionality and those identifying as intersex. Intersex flag is below in yellow with a purple circle in the middle.

Let’s talk about a secondletter “I” for today: Intersex. Have you heard of this term? “Intersex” is a general term used for a variety of conditions in which a person is born with a reproductive or sexual anatomy that doesn’t seem to fit the typical definitions of female or male. For example, a person might be born appearing to be female on the outside, but having mostly male-typical anatomy on the inside. Or a person may be born with genitals that seem to be in-between the usual male and female types—for example, a girl may be born with a noticeably large clitoris, or lacking a vaginal opening, or a boy may be born with a notably small penis, or with a scrotum that is divided so that it has formed more like labia. Or a person may be born with mosaic genetics, so that some of her cells have XX chromosomes and some of them have XY.

Did you know that more people are born intersex than have cleft pallets? Truth. The Intersex Society of North America (ISNA) is devoted to systemic change to end shame, secrecy, and unwanted genital surgeries for people born with an anatomy that someone decided is not standard for male or female. This is why I am not a fan of gender reveal parties! Consider gifts of something other than pink or blue for babies, or kids in general. You don’t know what the intimate details of a family might be, and the small act of using gender neutral colors like green, yellow, or purple might just help a new parent feel better about their new baby. Plus green and yellow are Packer’s colors!

If you’d like to learn more on the term intersex, here’s an excellent, award-winning video. One hour in length. Thanks for reading & feel free to share!

Click on the IS IT A BOY OR A GIRL logo above? IT IS A ONE HOUR AWARD WINNING VIDEO
8
Sep

HRC, yeah you know me!

Welcome to the letter “H” in my Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, and Questioning/Queer (LGBTQ) blog. My first thought was to give you information on hetero vs. homo. Then I read an interesting article I had to share along with giving a shout out to the Human Rights Campaign — one of my favorite organizations — and to my friend Dr. Vinnie Pompei who works tirelessly for our collective rights.

Usually I end my posts with the action you can personally take to make a difference. Today, I have a save the date for you right up front! Mark October 10, 2019 on your calendar for HRC’s exclusive broadcating partnership with CNN. They’ll host a town hall meeting with democratic presidential candidates to discuss LGBTQ issues. My DVR is already set to record!

From the article: “This historic town hall event, entitled Power of Our Pride, will take place on Thursday, October 10 at The Novo in Los Angeles, California. The event is set to take place on the eve of the 31st annual National Coming Out Day, a celebration of coming out as lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer (LGBTQ) or as an ally. The first National Coming Out Day was held on October 11, 1988 on the first anniversary of the National March on Washington for Lesbian and Gay Rights as a way of celebrating the power of coming out and promoting a safe world for LGBTQ individuals to live truthfully and openly. (HRC.org)” You can read the full story here.

Oh, and my friend, Dr. Vinnie Pompei? He is a rockstar working for HRC. He and I met in San Diego at a CESCAL’s (The Center for Excellence in School Counseling and Leadership) Supporting Students- Saving Lives conference. I love the networking opportunities my friendship with Vinnie has given to me. My goal is to pay it forward and give you resources to save lives. One of the best ways to grow your knowledge is to attend HRC’s Time to Thrive conference. I was fortunate to speak at the conference previously, and I’d love to see you in Washington D.C. this February.

One of my early LGBTQ consultations was with a private Catholic high school. I was asked to help their school counseling department create a safe and welcoming environment. We discussed using rainbows as a universal sign designating the school counseling office as a safe zone for those identifying as LGBTQ. After thinking about what the Catholic Diocese would think about rainbows, that idea was squashed. We had to go back to the drawing board. I mentioned the Human Rights Campaign equality sticker. Only $3 at the time of this article. Rather than the blue and yellow colors in the HRC equal sign sticker, they decided to use their school colors with their school mascot behind the equal sign. Use your imagination, but please know you might be saving a life through your efforts!

HRC is a wonderful organization. Directly from their website (notice I didn’t say straight from their website? tee hee): “The Human Rights Campaign represents a force of more than 3 million members and supporters nationwide. As the largest national lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and queer civil rights organization, HRC envisions a world where LGBTQ people are ensured of their basic equal rights, and can be open, honest and safe at home, at work and in the community.http://www.hrc.org

Your actions to becoming an even better ally this week:

(1) Save the Date, October 10, 2019, to watch CNN’s coverage of HRC’s democratic presidential LGBTQ debate.

(2) Display a rainbow or a $3 HRC blue & yellow sticker in your workspace.

Thanks for being an ALLY!

~Lisa from Wisconsin (Lady Rainbow)

1
Sep

Geez, that’s a lot of “G”s

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/geez-thats-lot-gs-lisa-koenecke

25
Aug

Fun with Flags

Fantastic! Finally, Fun with Flags! Fabulous! Ok, enough of the alliteration, let’s get to the facts (ha). With our journey into LGBT frequently asked questions, today we will discover the + that often gets put at the end of LGBTQ+ (see what I did there?)

A shout out to Target for their celebration of PRIDE month (June), especially the first week of June. Last year, we were able to pick up many small flags that I posted in my office. Rainbow (Gay), pink/blue/white (transgender), and a bisexual flag (remember that from our letter “B” post?)

ICYMI, this is a nice summary of Gilbert Baker’s original flag from 1978 (Thanks, Pinterest!)

Today, the hot pink and the turquoise have been dropped and here is what we see most often today:

Now, let’s jump into the plus (+) of other flags an who they represent.

This graphic from Live Loud Graphics gives more insight on the different terminology in the LGBT+ community and the different flags that help give a voice to our identities. There may be groups you’ve never heard of — that’s fantastic! There may be groups that give voice to an identity you’ve experienced and didn’t realize there were others like you — that’s exciting! The purpose isn’t to divide an already marginalized group; it really is to highlight all of the different facets that make up our community and to celebrate each one.

This week, I encourage you to take the time to read through the resource above from Live Loud Graphics and educate one other person on something you learn. As their motto says, “Education is the cure for homophobia.” Thanks for helping us spread education and love!

~Lisa from Wisconsin (Lady Rainbow)

18
Aug

The Letter “E”…Equality vs. Equity

Welcome back to my LGBT FAQ blog. This week, we look at the difference between the terms equality and equity. By definition, equality is ensuring individuals or groups of individuals are not treated differently or less favorably, on the basis of their specific protected characteristic, including areas of race, gender, disability, religion or belief, sexual orientation and age (check out that Enumeration!). While equity means the quality of being fair or impartial (dictionary.com). These terms can be confusing, so you’ll often see different analogies to help make the difference a bit easier to understand. Which one is your favorite?

Thank you to our friends at Public Policy & Governance Review in Toronto, Canada for this image!

My favorite is the shoe analogy (and they’re rainbow!). Equality is giving everyone a shoe. Equity is giving everyone a shoe that fits.
– Naheed Dosani

I would even go a bit further to add inclusion meaning that everyone has a shoe that fits, is comfortable and matches their sense of style. The first time I heard the shoe analogy to represent Equality vs. Equity was at a training called “Courageous Conversations.” This training was early in my school counseling career and reminded me of growing up with an uncle who had polio. His physical limitations were perhaps equal to those needing the specified parking space, but his brilliant mind gave him equity in his place of work.

Perhaps you have seen the analogy of the people watching a ball game and there are three boxes. Each individual is of a different height trying to see over the fence. Equality is that each person has a box upon which to stand. Equity is that the tallest person can see over the fence without a box, the middle person has one box and and can now see over the fence and the third person is standing on two boxes in order to see over the fence. What if we removed the fence all together? Let’s consider taking away barriers in order to promote equity.

Using the word “versus” in between Equality and Equity shouldn’t be seen as a competition. Depending upon where you are in your cultural awareness, or how your life experiences have shaped the lens through which you view the world, I might suggest that we all strive for Success for ALL! When you’re just starting your journey, equality is a good place to start. However if you look at the illustration below, you’ll see that while many might benefit from one solution, through an equitable solution(shoveling the ramp first), everyone will benefit using the ramp.

Source: Peytral Publications

Ahhh, good old Wisconsin winters…but this illustrates the difference between equity and equality. Equity is good for ALL. Think about those registration forms I refer to in earlier blog posts. By asking for adult 1 or caregiver 1 rather than “mom” and “dad“, you are now including grandparents, foster parents, or another relative caring for that student. Oh, and not everyone is a husband or a wife or a mom or a dad!

Cheryl Wheeler is a singer songwriter and just happens to sing one of our favorites, “Ghandi & Buddha.” In this version, she introduces the song sharing how she was happy to finally be able to marry her wife. She apologizes — tongue in cheek — for how our gay marriages have ruined all of the heterosexual marriages. In other words, by giving everyone the right to marry, whose marriage has that hurt? AND now we have access to the 1,100 protections and laws that heterosexual couples have enjoyed throughout time, while not taking a single protection away from hetero couple’s marriages. Win-win when love wins!

So, in terms of equality, we can equally get married as all can. On the other hand, equity is felt in some areas more than others. We chose to live in Madison, Wisconsin, which for the most part is a very welcoming city. It’s nice when I call to make an appointment for my wife that I only get asked a couple of questions. Not sure if we were a male and a female if I would face the same questions, however I don’t get push-back or a negative reaction that can occur in some less-equitable areas. However when we go out to dinner as a couple, we still get asked if we want separate checks, even if we’ve been holding hands across the table throughout our meal.

Thanks for reading this article. I hoped you enjoyed the song by Cheryl Wheeler. Your call to action is to do something GREAT to make things more equitable in your work space! Stand up for those without a voice. Take the time to educate someone needing that lesson on how to treat people! Think about this… intelligence is distributed equally, but opportunity is not!

~Lisa from Wisconsin (Lady Rainbow)

21
Jul

Bisexual & Bystander

23
Jun

Welcome to My New Frequently Asked Questions Blog

YOU are Never Alone!

Be a rainbow in someone else’s cloud

— Maya Angelou

This is the first post on my new blog. I’m just getting this new blog going, so stay tuned for more. Subscribe below to get notified when I post new updates. The focus will be answering Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ) on LBGTQIA+ issues & advocacy. Not sure what all of those letters represent? Stay tuned here and subscribe!

~Peace & Hugs,

Lisa from Wisconsin

13
Oct

Knational Coming OUT Day & KCNN Equality Debate

You might have noticed the title includes the letter “K.” Knope, Knot a typo, just letting you know that this week’s blog is meant to be brought to you by the letter “K,” but there were other more important messages to share.

October 11th every year is National Coming OUT Day. If you know my story, you’ll remember that my national coming out day was Thanksgiving of 2016 when my sister told me I was gay. Oh yeah, and “Please pass the carrots.” Can’t make that up, and of course I cried, and then ate my carrots.

National Coming OUT Day is a significant observance for the LGBTQ+ community as well as for our families, our allies, and our communities. On Oct. 11, 1987, half a million people participated in the March on Washington for Lesbian and Gay Rights (history linked). This year celebrates the 31st year of this auspicious holiday. Thank you to the Human Rights Campaign for their advocacy(videos) around this rite of passage for some, or perhaps another day to stay in the closet for some. This is why school counselors are vital to creating safe spaces for all of those marginalized souls.

I was in the closet for so long because I didn’t know that being gay (and ultimately happy) was an option. Being raised Missouri Synod Lutheran didn’t offer a great deal of hope for females, let alone, females loving other females. We used to volunteer to clean the church on Saturdays. I would always volunteer to go with my mom for the main reason of being able to stand in the pulpit and “preach” whatever was on my mind. You might want to sit down (if you aren’t already) for this next part…I wanted to marry a pastor. Not a female pastor, but a male one. YIKES! What was I thinking? Oh, right, that’s what was modeled for me. As I grew older, I gained more confidence in myself as a strong female. After all, my mother had named me Lisa after Eileen Fulton’s character on the soap opera “As The World Turns,” because she wanted me to be a strong female. Careful what you ask for, right?

Once I realized that I could be the pastor and that I didn’t have to rely on a man. I wanted to volunteer at church to be an usher. All of my uncles were, so why not me? It was then that my relationship with the church, it’s heirarchy and hypocricy changed my views. My aunt was the treasurer at our 100 member tiny church on the hill. I was related to half of the congregation. In fact, if our carload of cousins was late to Saturday/Sunday school, they would wait for us to start. When I told my aunt that I wanted to be an usher, she told me that women weren’t allowed to hold leadership positions. WHAT???!!!??? I’m shaking my head as I write this. So, again, when my sister told me I was gay, I had to face my own coming out rite of passage. My church had let me down. Now what to do?

You go to college, hang out with all of the female athletes, that’s what you do! Too bad I didn’t know what coming out meant my freshman year at UW-LaCrosse. October 11th, 31 years ago would have been the first National Coming OUT Day. I wonder how my life would have turned out differently if I had been true to myself? To every season, there is a reason. Who would have thought 31 years ago, that there would be a presidential debate focused soley on LGBTQ+ issues? That is exactly what happened on the eve of National Coming OUT Day (NCOD).

Cable Network News (CNN) hosted the first ever Equality Town Hall. CNN worked with the Human Rights Campaign (HRC) by inviting 9 of the top 2020 Democratic presidential candidates to discuss our issues. Just the fact that we are seeing these discussions and advocacy in my life time gives me hope for the future. Check out the 9 Takeaways from CNN’s Equality Forum. For those of you wanting a chuckle, watch Saturday Night Live’s take on the CNN LGBTQ Forum. You’ll need to watch some of the original footage to understand the SNL skits.

WOW, this was an emotional week for me and writing this blog was quite cathartic as well. Thank you for taking the time to read and maybe even you watched some of the videos I linked for you. My Call to Action this week is realize that the Supreme Court of the United States will decide whether a landmark 1964 civil rights law bars employment discrimination based on sexual orientation and transgender status. We can be fired in half of these United States based upon who were are and for whom we love. Please be our ally and wear your rainbow ribbons, share your stories and together we can shape our policies to become more inclusive.

Mahalo!

~Lisa from Wisconsin (Lady Rainbow)